SpielByWeb

donaldtrump · Joined: 10 Sep 17 Posts: 25

Hi all, I'm here because I really don't know where to go or what to do. I've been married to my wife for 5 years this year and we have 2 beautiful children together. We argued a lot and things were pretty bad. One day during an argument she turned round to me and told me that she had an affair with an old work colleague. This was way back in 2014.
I love my wife so I forgave her and she said that this wouldn't happen again.
This chap who she had slept with was a very old friend of hers going back some time and so after a while she asked me how I would feel if she saw him again in a social capacity. She explained that he had settled down with a girl and wanted some relationship advice. Maybe I'm a muppet but I trusted her and said I was ok with this despite my gut saying otherwise.
Over the years she's hooked up with this guy for a drink perhaps every 3 or 4 months that I'm aware of. She always tells me when she is going to see him and always seems to meet him in a pub. She says that she doesn't like her body anymore though I still think she looks great and I tell her this often. I started to suspect that maybe something was up when the lack of contact continued and she started to wear he 'nice' underwear when going out to see this guy.
I started to keep an eye on her online activity as best I could and was able to get access to her chat transcripts on her laptop. It seems that she chats with this guy online perhaps every month at most and there was occasional reference to 'how much I enjoyed last time' and 'have been thinking of you' on both sides.
The next day for some reason I decided to check her chat transcripts and was destroyed when I found that she had on that saturday night been chatting with this chap online before coming to bed...
I'm so confused. On a day to day basis my wife tells me she loves me, cuddles up to me on the sofa etc. I've wanted to be supportive and help her but I'm totally blown away by the most recent discussion she's had with this guy... I don't want to loose her... what should I do?

Christina · Joined: 21 Jul 17 Posts: 37

She doesn't respect you to
still be talking to, going out for drinks etc. With the guy she had a affair with.
I know it's hard because you have kids, but how much more of this can you take? Though this is all her fault, you do bear some blame on this.
1. Continue to gather evidence. Install a keylogger any computer she has access to. And also check out this link https://infidelityprivateinvestigators.com.au/contact/private-investigators-melbourne/
2. If you have access to her cellphone, monitor all calls and texts. Detailed billing will not give you the exact texts, but will give you dates, times, numbers, and length of texts.
3. Consider installing a VAR in her vehicle. This will record any conversations she has when you're not around.
Once you have your evidence, your gut will tell you when the time is right to confront.

Steve4455 · Joined: 05 May 19 Posts: 11 Location: Sydney, Australia

You are a very kind guy, I should say! Not every man would do the same. When my wife wanted to meet with her ex boyfriend (he also had a girlfriend), I was against. In my opinion, it is not ok when a married woman meets with other men, especially if she had relationships with them. Of course, it's your business, but I would talk to her and tell that I'm against her communication with that chap. If she chooses your side and understands, you won't have problems anymore. She should understand that you are her husband and you and your feelings should come first. Anyway, I wish you good luck!

ElianaBryson · Joined: 20 May 19 Posts: 11

You should never raise question on your wife morals until and unless you become 100% sure about her cheating on you.

swi909 · Joined: 27 Oct 19 Posts: 12

I think that no

kreon · Joined: 23 Jul 20 Posts: 59

looks food